Sparring. Yes, wearing the boxing gloves, protection for the privates, proper shoes and teeth protection is all one needs for that. And a proper attitude.
During this week on two consecutive days I have received news, which would have made me very uneasy, worried, anxious, irritated and sad, say, two years ago. All of a sudden, it seems my future is unclear in the traditional sense of financial security. One doesn't need to be a wizard to figure out these news have everything to do with (not) having a job in the future, at the moment at least. Somehow it doesn't bother me that much. I am totally confident I will always survive, no matter what. Life always prevails for the people with right mind-set and with the ability to make a difference, especially for themselves. I have figured there is no need to be anxious over something that is actually as insignificant as having a job. OK, money is something everyone needs, but I don't need to worry about that currently, fortunately. The world is full of life, waiting to be discovered :).
As we have come to see in this world, financial situation dictates (seemingly) companies' ability to recruit people. It is built into the system - no people can be blamed for this. But this is exactly the reason why I also like Munamies in real life with his views and perceptions on the society, what is wrong with it today. I would gladly see this whole system crumble to dust, if it would result in a society, which would be free of this worrying of "how will I survive if I don't have a job" paradigm. Furthermore, a society should encourage people to be creative by giving everyone equal chances of doing whatever it is they like, instead of being forced to jobs, which they never wanted in the first place. This would most likely decrease mental problems amongst the population. There's more, but I won't go into those here. Anyways, I just wanted to express how inevitably I also am a part of this world-wide machinery, which tries to strike fear into the minds of people by the concept of not-having-a-job. Again, no wizard is needed to understand I do not fear this. What could go wrong in something as wonderful as life? :)
Now, I'm not trying to be cocky or anything because of this situation, but it has been wonderful to witness how I have reacted to this situation: not with fear, but with acceptance, with calmness and with ability to still see my future life as worthwhile as it was before receiving the news.
Actually, I feel now that I have a great opportunity to engage into something as delightful as travelling, without care in the world. I have a unique chance of carrying out the things I have wanted to do, but have been unsure, since having a job very effectively hinders with any free-time plans, which require long periods of time. I am also able to spend more time with my dear friends, who are the most important things in life for me. Your support gives me strength :). So does my family <3. And maybe IAET-työttömyyskassa for the time being :D. What is life if not fulfilling your dreams?
So what has all this to do with sparring? I really don't know :), except that I just came from sparring and it was jolly fun! Sparring for 1½ hours takes me away so completely from this world with its seeming problems that I feel it helps to cleanse my mind of everything that is not relevant. I bled from my arm and from my nose, and probably I'll have couple of more bruises tomorrow than yesterday, plus my head got whacked couple of times so bad I saw stars for a fraction of a second. This is all OK, since I gave the guy five times worse banging :D. Fighting with a good spirit is uplifting, especially when one is aware how it gives the feeling of no one being able to hurt you in any way. Maybe this sparring gave me the idea from physical world to mental world: I cannot be hurt in this life, however bad it may feel like at first. :)
keskiviikko 23. helmikuuta 2011
tiistai 15. helmikuuta 2011
What's cookin pt. I - Yakisoba and crisp bread (näkkäri)
Did I ever mention I am a cookster? I love trying out new food and cooking it with a sense of perfection when it comes to the ingredients, and more or less the quality of them is also important. My habit lately has been the following: On Sundays, I check out the web what goodies the world has to offer for me the next week. I write down the ingredient list to a yellow post-it, which I take to work on Monday. Come ~4 p.m. on Monday, I rush to the store and buy the stuff, and start cooking, usually for 2-3 days worth of cuisine per cookin.
Today I did me some Japanese chow. Shii-iiiit was good! I bought me some organic Udon-noodles and a variety of vegetables.. the yakisoba sauce I prepared was a bull's eye for this food!
I also tried out some knäckebröd, or hard bread, or crisp bread.. Thank you M for the recipe :). It was probably the first time I did something that contained only organic ingredients - a lot of various organic seeds, organic eggs, organic spelt, sunfire salt (a bit posh, yes). Of course it had to be eaten with organic kirnuvoi, which tastes absolutely stunning!
Here's the recipes:
Yakisoba and Crisp bread (only in Finnish). For yakisoba recipe, I used also ginger and garlic in addition to the list ingredients. The yakisoba sauce contained for me gin (yes, alcohol), organic soy sauce, indian sugar, organic honey, red chili flakes and sesame seed oil.
Bon apetít!
Today I did me some Japanese chow. Shii-iiiit was good! I bought me some organic Udon-noodles and a variety of vegetables.. the yakisoba sauce I prepared was a bull's eye for this food!
I also tried out some knäckebröd, or hard bread, or crisp bread.. Thank you M for the recipe :). It was probably the first time I did something that contained only organic ingredients - a lot of various organic seeds, organic eggs, organic spelt, sunfire salt (a bit posh, yes). Of course it had to be eaten with organic kirnuvoi, which tastes absolutely stunning!
Here's the recipes:
Yakisoba and Crisp bread (only in Finnish). For yakisoba recipe, I used also ginger and garlic in addition to the list ingredients. The yakisoba sauce contained for me gin (yes, alcohol), organic soy sauce, indian sugar, organic honey, red chili flakes and sesame seed oil.
Bon apetít!
Thoughts of unconditional love
Some of my views from the comment-chain posted below:
--
Yes, unconditional love is an ideal as has been stated. Actual life has both positive and negative feelings, yes yes, and they are all equally valuable. For me, the choosing of love is more a question of "do I want to choose fear or love as my way of seeing the world?". I believe most people choose the former option, since the environment surrounding us makes us easily believe this world is a place, where everyone are out there only for themselves. I want to believe in something more.. gracious.
By following the path of love is not to avoid negative feelings but to embrace them with acceptance.
They are all interconnected: unconditional love - acceptance - being present. Too detailed and formal definitions of things are best left unsaid, because you, your views and the world have a tendency to change. So do the definitions - they evolve all the time.
"The only constant in life is change".
--
The following song is about change. It is a beautful, bittersweet and somehow ubiquitously so true with many people, including myself..
First we are explicably where we are
Chaste and burned - we're comfortably loveless
In a trillion years, the stars will no longer shine
We'll remain.
Get it right or come back again
My love...
Make it clear - integrate this love and fear
Still hopelessly hopeful
Wounded child seeking wonderful
As closed as I am
Born a craftsman of shifting sands
What lies I learned
Lessened my 'bility to be present
My love will never change
Though we've ruined everything
The stars still conspire for us
Until our final breaths
We need more love in the world
We need more hope in the world
Build more joy in the world
We crave more love...
My love will never change
Though we've ruined everything
The stars still conspire for us
Until our final breaths
[x2]
The only constant is change
My love will never change
Though we've ruined everything
The stars...
The only constant is change
--
Yes, unconditional love is an ideal as has been stated. Actual life has both positive and negative feelings, yes yes, and they are all equally valuable. For me, the choosing of love is more a question of "do I want to choose fear or love as my way of seeing the world?". I believe most people choose the former option, since the environment surrounding us makes us easily believe this world is a place, where everyone are out there only for themselves. I want to believe in something more.. gracious.
By following the path of love is not to avoid negative feelings but to embrace them with acceptance.
They are all interconnected: unconditional love - acceptance - being present. Too detailed and formal definitions of things are best left unsaid, because you, your views and the world have a tendency to change. So do the definitions - they evolve all the time.
"The only constant in life is change".
--
The following song is about change. It is a beautful, bittersweet and somehow ubiquitously so true with many people, including myself..
First we are explicably where we are
Chaste and burned - we're comfortably loveless
In a trillion years, the stars will no longer shine
We'll remain.
Get it right or come back again
My love...
Make it clear - integrate this love and fear
Still hopelessly hopeful
Wounded child seeking wonderful
As closed as I am
Born a craftsman of shifting sands
What lies I learned
Lessened my 'bility to be present
My love will never change
Though we've ruined everything
The stars still conspire for us
Until our final breaths
We need more love in the world
We need more hope in the world
Build more joy in the world
We crave more love...
My love will never change
Though we've ruined everything
The stars still conspire for us
Until our final breaths
[x2]
The only constant is change
My love will never change
Though we've ruined everything
The stars...
The only constant is change
perjantai 11. helmikuuta 2011
keskiviikko 9. helmikuuta 2011
The wonders of yoga
Man it feels good to do yoga! I believe it's always beneficial for oneself to push the limits. In this case, what I mean by pushing limits is just to try out all kinds of new things.
Now I decided to try (ashtanga) yoga, the most popular version known in western countries. Ashtanga yoga, to my understanding, has been derived from hatha yoga, which is the most physically-concentrated of the various yoga families. For westerners (länkkärit), doing yoga in many cases involves getting a graceful body figure by developing muscles and by getting them to stretch in the process. Apart from the previous, for me yoga is equally important as a tool for learning the controlling of body and mind through asanas (postures) and vinyasas (movements). The breathing technique (Ujjayi) and muscle locks (Mula and Uddiyana bhandhas) are yin and yang in energizing the body, mind and spirit in the process of doing the actual yoga.
Every time I do yoga, at the time I feel I am pushing my limits, since I stretch about as nicely as a crow bar, but I always bend myself more than what is recommended, since I want to stretch. Bu man, the feeling I get after 1½ hours of doing this stuff..it's surreal, especially after the 10 minutes of relaxation in the end of the session. I feel like.. nothing's troubling me after that, that everything is fine, and I get one step closer of understanding how my body works and what is beneath it. The best thing is the immense spiritual feeling I get.. I believe the better we know how our energies flow in our body the better our mind is able to get deeper and more meaningful experiences.
Of course, I want to utilize my feelings of deepness in other areas of life.. :) I stumbled upon the concept of tantric sex. It's funny, because the concepts in it aren't actually that far away from what I have been more or less doing for the past year or so. When I started to think about it, I have felt more close, intimate and united when having sex than what I've felt previously. It is more about the atmosphere, the presence of the two and being present, than it is about doing some things. It does not need to be anything particular, if the mood is right. I realized it can be an immensive experience just to hold hands or to just "be", as long as the sexual energy is vibrating throughout you both and mingling together. The moment is perfect as it is. This is where, for example, breathing technique can be helpful. I guess that's why a short meditation session before doing anything more is of help. This way, a) the mood sets and b) breathing has energized ones' bodies and minds. This way, the whole experience of sex can become something... undescribable.
But I don't know, I mean, I just only today read about this stuff. It seems the path to spiritual enlightenment comes with all kind of nice bonuses. All this spiritual stuff seems to be interconnected, to result in same kind of deductions about how something really feels good. Be it sex, nutrition (both mental and physical), etc. It just all comes naturally, when you really get down to the business of getting to know yourself and wanting to develop in an open way. Of course, it always helps if there are people guiding you and nudging you towards the right directions.. :)
It felt a bit awkward, as it usually is with Finnish culture, when our yoga instructor today started to do mantras and made us repeat them. However, she said few words that stuck with my mind. That's how I got the idea: "listen to Juno Reactor's Navras when I get back home!". SO that's what I did. Below you can find the lyrics.
--
Asato ma sad gamaya
tamaso ma jyotir gamaya
mrtyor mamrtam gamaya
Om shanti shanti shanti (these are the words :) )
Jnani manasa saha
Buddhis ca na vicestate
Tam ahuh paramam gatim
___
translation:
From delusion lead me to truth
From darkness lead me to light
From death lead me to immortality.
Let there be peace everywhere
When the five senses and the mind are still, and reason itself rests in silence, then begins the Path supreme.
Now I decided to try (ashtanga) yoga, the most popular version known in western countries. Ashtanga yoga, to my understanding, has been derived from hatha yoga, which is the most physically-concentrated of the various yoga families. For westerners (länkkärit), doing yoga in many cases involves getting a graceful body figure by developing muscles and by getting them to stretch in the process. Apart from the previous, for me yoga is equally important as a tool for learning the controlling of body and mind through asanas (postures) and vinyasas (movements). The breathing technique (Ujjayi) and muscle locks (Mula and Uddiyana bhandhas) are yin and yang in energizing the body, mind and spirit in the process of doing the actual yoga.
Every time I do yoga, at the time I feel I am pushing my limits, since I stretch about as nicely as a crow bar, but I always bend myself more than what is recommended, since I want to stretch. Bu man, the feeling I get after 1½ hours of doing this stuff..it's surreal, especially after the 10 minutes of relaxation in the end of the session. I feel like.. nothing's troubling me after that, that everything is fine, and I get one step closer of understanding how my body works and what is beneath it. The best thing is the immense spiritual feeling I get.. I believe the better we know how our energies flow in our body the better our mind is able to get deeper and more meaningful experiences.
Of course, I want to utilize my feelings of deepness in other areas of life.. :) I stumbled upon the concept of tantric sex. It's funny, because the concepts in it aren't actually that far away from what I have been more or less doing for the past year or so. When I started to think about it, I have felt more close, intimate and united when having sex than what I've felt previously. It is more about the atmosphere, the presence of the two and being present, than it is about doing some things. It does not need to be anything particular, if the mood is right. I realized it can be an immensive experience just to hold hands or to just "be", as long as the sexual energy is vibrating throughout you both and mingling together. The moment is perfect as it is. This is where, for example, breathing technique can be helpful. I guess that's why a short meditation session before doing anything more is of help. This way, a) the mood sets and b) breathing has energized ones' bodies and minds. This way, the whole experience of sex can become something... undescribable.
But I don't know, I mean, I just only today read about this stuff. It seems the path to spiritual enlightenment comes with all kind of nice bonuses. All this spiritual stuff seems to be interconnected, to result in same kind of deductions about how something really feels good. Be it sex, nutrition (both mental and physical), etc. It just all comes naturally, when you really get down to the business of getting to know yourself and wanting to develop in an open way. Of course, it always helps if there are people guiding you and nudging you towards the right directions.. :)
It felt a bit awkward, as it usually is with Finnish culture, when our yoga instructor today started to do mantras and made us repeat them. However, she said few words that stuck with my mind. That's how I got the idea: "listen to Juno Reactor's Navras when I get back home!". SO that's what I did. Below you can find the lyrics.
--
Asato ma sad gamaya
tamaso ma jyotir gamaya
mrtyor mamrtam gamaya
Om shanti shanti shanti (these are the words :) )
Jnani manasa saha
Buddhis ca na vicestate
Tam ahuh paramam gatim
___
translation:
From delusion lead me to truth
From darkness lead me to light
From death lead me to immortality.
Let there be peace everywhere
When the five senses and the mind are still, and reason itself rests in silence, then begins the Path supreme.
perjantai 28. tammikuuta 2011
All those moments will be lost.. like tears.. in rain.
Think what would happen, if we were given a chance to go back to the turning points of our lives. The turning points are not some grand events - they may be as simple as lifting a finger or saying a word, or words. And these small things made your life so much different than what it would have been, had you done something even slightly differently.
Let's think at the implications if we could go back. We would have infinite amount of possibilities to recreate our own life, since even the tiniest difference (say, you would make another kind of thought than originally, which physically would manifest as some nerve atoms moving differently in your brain) could generate a whole new, parallel reality. Or universe, however you would like to call it. Anyway, your life might shape up to something completely different than what it would have been. Actually, every smallest amount of time differential is a chance for this reality to disperse into again infinite branches, since every moment can be played out in infinite amount of ways. In that sense it seems there is no point in the ability to change one's life. You never know how it's going to end up because at the time you change your reality at one point in time, the future becomes unclear.
OK, say we do not consider such a theoretical approach, in which every time differential is meaningful - rather let's concentrate on the actual turning point event, which is measurable and perceivable in humane reality as well. If I could change the event, which I (apparently) thought was the root cause for my unhappiness in the future that I've lived, I would still be unsure how I would end up in the upcoming future, just like in the above theoretical approach.
For the above reasons I would like to postulate: there is no sense in wishing things had gone differently, since this life we are now living is all we have got. Everything we have done and said and felt has been just perfect. It has been just the way it has been meant to be. It is the present, which is of the utmost importance - not the past nor the future. We are what we make out of this moment.
Still, I can't help but to feel wistful when thinking about some events in my life, which would have, according to my brains, led into getting to live a better life, had I done something differently. It is so easy to delve into the alternative reality, which, of course, is full of joy and happiness. At the same time I feel happiness for knowing that I'm living the life, which, considering these aspects, is juuust perfect. Who knows what kind of things I would have encountered, if I had decided to do things differently..
When you live your life, live the present to the fullest! Although, it is also true that to not to decide holds all the possibilities for the future since nothing is determined.. unfortunately it also prevents one from living. So, make a decision for yourself every moment and live. On decision we determine that this is my reality and the way I choose to see and live it. On deciding upon a thing:
"All those [potential] moments will be lost.. like tears.. in rain." *sigh*.
perjantai 21. tammikuuta 2011
Bittersweet thoughts
Oh, the sweet misery of realizing how incomplete one can actually be in some respects! It is always good to ponder the meaning of life, being present and all that. However, it is somehow ironic that there are much more basic stuff that needs to be taken care of as well. Fortunately, contemplating the deeper stuff is not an idea to be excluded, regardless of how much one is lacking in more fundamental ways.
I've done a fair share of thinking of the life stuff. Now I think it is time for me to really be introspective and think, think hard, why I behave the way I do. I am actually afraid that no matter how hard I try to convince myself, to change myself, I am unable to do it. Evolutionary biology certainly has not made this easy for me. Or maybe it is just me giving excuses. I must deeply bow in front of the people, who honestly point out me towards the direction I am unable to see myself. Thank you. I will do my best.
I've done a fair share of thinking of the life stuff. Now I think it is time for me to really be introspective and think, think hard, why I behave the way I do. I am actually afraid that no matter how hard I try to convince myself, to change myself, I am unable to do it. Evolutionary biology certainly has not made this easy for me. Or maybe it is just me giving excuses. I must deeply bow in front of the people, who honestly point out me towards the direction I am unable to see myself. Thank you. I will do my best.
torstai 13. tammikuuta 2011
Something for everyone
They're all kinda deep though.. :)
Music is a good way of surfacing emotions in my mind. That is why I enjoy music with depth
------------
Before the Dawn - Wrath: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TkzFZhrI60U
"My Broken bones grown whole
Wounds turned to scars and bleeding stopped
By Divine wrath I am reborn"
---
Mokoma - Sydänjuuret: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k4QRkTKzj48
Alternative (trash metal, the original version): http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=44XsqXyv0-g
"Voiko onnen jostain ostaa
Voiko piilottaa lukkojen taa
Sieltä esiin tuolloin nostaa
Kun tarvitsee lohduttajaa"
Gouryella - Walhalla: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7Wp7xMwfS3M
"Our love heals
And feelings were starting to matter
When we shall fly on together
For now and forever"
---
Majai - Lightwave (Airbase remix): http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5rB8VY2HsdI&feature=related
(this one is particularly beautifully carved trance ch00n)
"I Grab My Coat, I Grab My Keys, And Then I Realize
That You're Not Around, You're Far From Here
And I Can't Find... Another Way To Tell You How Much I Miss You So
I Had You, Then I Can't Believe I Let You Go"
---
Pendulum - Crush: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8mYd2X_9rrs
(the video is worth thinking about as well)
"Pictures that I’ve been dreaming are coming down
They’re changing my future
Visions I had buried underground
Returning to the future"
---
Vibrasphere - Tierra Azul (Omnimotion feat. Krister Linder remix): http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wILYOuRCllI
This is a song for all the dear people. You are stars.
"The sun will set on you
Caress the darkness
Let it be a womb to you
Loving and spacious
You're a star
Love is all we are
The rest amounts to nothing
Our flesh the temples of
The one thing that is everlasting
You're a star"
---
Blank & Jones - Mind of the Wonderful: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QVoNKg-bF5s&feature=related
"Cold is the night, cold are my hands, cold as my heart"
"Cold is the night, cold are my hands, cold as my heart"
Music is a good way of surfacing emotions in my mind. That is why I enjoy music with depth
------------
Before the Dawn - Wrath: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TkzFZhrI60U
"My Broken bones grown whole
Wounds turned to scars and bleeding stopped
By Divine wrath I am reborn"
---
Mokoma - Sydänjuuret: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k4QRkTKzj48
Alternative (trash metal, the original version): http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=44XsqXyv0-g
"Voiko onnen jostain ostaa
Voiko piilottaa lukkojen taa
Sieltä esiin tuolloin nostaa
Kun tarvitsee lohduttajaa"
Gouryella - Walhalla: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7Wp7xMwfS3M
"Our love heals
And feelings were starting to matter
When we shall fly on together
For now and forever"
---
Majai - Lightwave (Airbase remix): http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5rB8VY2HsdI&feature=related
(this one is particularly beautifully carved trance ch00n)
"I Grab My Coat, I Grab My Keys, And Then I Realize
That You're Not Around, You're Far From Here
And I Can't Find... Another Way To Tell You How Much I Miss You So
I Had You, Then I Can't Believe I Let You Go"
---
Pendulum - Crush: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8mYd2X_9rrs
(the video is worth thinking about as well)
"Pictures that I’ve been dreaming are coming down
They’re changing my future
Visions I had buried underground
Returning to the future"
---
Vibrasphere - Tierra Azul (Omnimotion feat. Krister Linder remix): http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wILYOuRCllI
This is a song for all the dear people. You are stars.
"The sun will set on you
Caress the darkness
Let it be a womb to you
Loving and spacious
You're a star
Love is all we are
The rest amounts to nothing
Our flesh the temples of
The one thing that is everlasting
You're a star"
---
Blank & Jones - Mind of the Wonderful: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QVoNKg-bF5s&feature=related
"Cold is the night, cold are my hands, cold as my heart"
"Cold is the night, cold are my hands, cold as my heart"
keskiviikko 12. tammikuuta 2011
The love I want to strive for
Just a thought.
The next paragraph is a translation from the book "the paradoxes of life" by Tommy Hellsten.
"It is enough to stand beside another person. She does not need to be 'helped' or to be advised. One does not need to resolve anything for her, nor does she need to be clung on. She need not be protected from the truth. Nothing can be demanded from her, she can not be changed, but one does not need to abandon her. With her one can share humaneness. With her one can be on an journey of exploration and adventure."
The next paragraph is a translation from the book "the paradoxes of life" by Tommy Hellsten.
"It is enough to stand beside another person. She does not need to be 'helped' or to be advised. One does not need to resolve anything for her, nor does she need to be clung on. She need not be protected from the truth. Nothing can be demanded from her, she can not be changed, but one does not need to abandon her. With her one can share humaneness. With her one can be on an journey of exploration and adventure."
maanantai 10. tammikuuta 2011
maanantai 3. tammikuuta 2011
Ghosts of the past
In no way is it well advised to dwell in the past. Human mind, however, is of weak nature (until we all become enlightened ;). Sometimes the past keeps on haunting and an attempt to rationally dissolve the situation is of little use. All that matters is now, the current moment - what decisions you make now. So, what could we do in order to overcome the irrational self, which seems to have this terrifying hold of us?
There is nothing one can "do". Your irrational self knows more about you than your rational self would like to admit. OK, maybe you could go into the Amazon jungle, meet up a shaman and drink some DMT / ayahuasca compound and face your inner demons, but I guess that's not a feasible solution for the most of us at least. What I've come to notice is that thoughts of certain events, after some time, end up somewhere where your rational self cannot see. They have been blocked out so as not to harm your ego, your rational self. Then, certain events reminding you of the past may invoke those thoughts, and once again inflict pain. It seems it is an everlasting, vicious circle with no end in sight. Unless...
Maybe it would be worthwhile to try to connect with your irrational self by any means necessary - be it meditation, psychedelics, self-exploration via rational methods, etc. It might be beneficial for the sake of one's mental health, which, in today's world, seems to be at the brink of abyss with all the shit we have to put up with. Communicate with this hidden entity and see what it tells you.
Another, less efficient but relieving way, would be to communicate with other people of significance. This would help one to process and express the feelings, which originate from the irrational self. Human being needs other people, since we all are in a way connected in the grand scheme of things. So why not de-pressurize your mind by means of communication.
It seems that "communication" with either yourself or other people is the key issue in dissolving the ghosts of the past. In other words, in my opinion, this means honesty with everybody - most importantly, with yourself. Honesty is a human quality more and more uncommon. Let us then try to be honest.
Happy and honest new year 2011!
Now playing Sonata Arctica - Caleb:
Go out, create thunder, and stand right under / That old apple tree / Where the snakes let him feed on / Lost hopes, all those kind words could hurt him even more, now / Somehow, lost one more way back home. / Out on the lake, he rows towards a monster he should’ve been running away from, years ago. / The past had made him blind to the way he’d turned the pain into a way of life.
There is nothing one can "do". Your irrational self knows more about you than your rational self would like to admit. OK, maybe you could go into the Amazon jungle, meet up a shaman and drink some DMT / ayahuasca compound and face your inner demons, but I guess that's not a feasible solution for the most of us at least. What I've come to notice is that thoughts of certain events, after some time, end up somewhere where your rational self cannot see. They have been blocked out so as not to harm your ego, your rational self. Then, certain events reminding you of the past may invoke those thoughts, and once again inflict pain. It seems it is an everlasting, vicious circle with no end in sight. Unless...
Maybe it would be worthwhile to try to connect with your irrational self by any means necessary - be it meditation, psychedelics, self-exploration via rational methods, etc. It might be beneficial for the sake of one's mental health, which, in today's world, seems to be at the brink of abyss with all the shit we have to put up with. Communicate with this hidden entity and see what it tells you.
Another, less efficient but relieving way, would be to communicate with other people of significance. This would help one to process and express the feelings, which originate from the irrational self. Human being needs other people, since we all are in a way connected in the grand scheme of things. So why not de-pressurize your mind by means of communication.
It seems that "communication" with either yourself or other people is the key issue in dissolving the ghosts of the past. In other words, in my opinion, this means honesty with everybody - most importantly, with yourself. Honesty is a human quality more and more uncommon. Let us then try to be honest.
Happy and honest new year 2011!
Now playing Sonata Arctica - Caleb:
Go out, create thunder, and stand right under / That old apple tree / Where the snakes let him feed on / Lost hopes, all those kind words could hurt him even more, now / Somehow, lost one more way back home. / Out on the lake, he rows towards a monster he should’ve been running away from, years ago. / The past had made him blind to the way he’d turned the pain into a way of life.
sunnuntai 26. joulukuuta 2010
Valmiina käytettäväksi
Suurin osa meistä elää hiljaista ja vaatimatonta elämää. Meidän kunniaksemme ei järjestetä juhlakulkueita eikä pystytetä muistomerkkejä. Me emme kuitenkaan ole merkityksettömiä. Maailmassa on lukematon määrä ihmisiä, jotka odottavat elämmäänsä juuri meidän kaltaistamme ihmistä ja kaipaavat juuri meidän myötätuntoamme, rohkaisuamme ja kykyjämme. Pystymme tekemään jonkun onnelliseksi pelkästään sillä, että pysähdymme antamaan hänelle jotakin siitä, mitä meillä on.
Onni elää hetkessä
On olemassa vain tämä hetki. Miksi se pitäisi pilata kiireellä ja päästä siitä nopeasti eroon? Rauhoitu ja keskity yhteen asiaan kerrallaan. Monta asiaa jää ehkä tekemättä, mutta tuskin ensimmäistäkään todella tärkeätä. Lahjoita itsellesi kiireetön hetki ja jatka samalla asenteella koko loppuelämäsi.
keskiviikko 22. joulukuuta 2010
Weaknesses re-discovered
On this year (also) I have met such amazing people. Everywhere, anytime and in so unconceivable contexts that it is...well, amazing! I have learnt and keep on learning so much from yous all that I can't really express in words the gratitude I feel for living especially in these times and with these people. The most precious and at the same time the most difficult thing I get from this is, apart from having wonderful and meaningful friendships, that in many occasions I have had to and have to still face and try to come to terms with the things I don't like about myself.
I want to extend an apology to persons, who, due to my weaknesses, feel I have abused them in some way. Yesterday I was in the shower, just standing there under the pouring water, thinking how I may have done some people wrong just because I thought it is the way to do things and that "certainly everyone agrees this is the way this or that thing is supposed to be done or be", but how in the fuck's name could I really know how the other person thinks?? I mean he/she could have totally different mindset related to this matter, he/she could never even begin to think the way I think, in the way which to me is totally self-evident. And apparently fucked up. To begin to think that I would even try to change that which is the most precious quality in each and everyone - the wonderful and authentic self and the way a person "is" - seems now like something I hope I never would have done, and definitely something I feel I need to improve upon. Sometimes changing the paradigm of life can be hard, but I feel my life would be much easier if I could be less demanding in some respects. It seems some things stick better than other things (unfortunately). In any other ways I feel my life is about as fun as it gets! And for this I again thank the amazing people but also my self!
I wish You a relaxing and a peaceful time around the new year's! I'ma spend it with my dear family, enjoying good company, relaxing and eating good food, among which I want to mention the organic chunk of pork I picked up today. Also the carrot and swedish turnip casseroles I'm going to do myself this year, of organic products, naturally :). What a hippie I have become! I'm lovin' it.
http://users.tkk.fi/~jjlehti2/ab/joulukortti.JPG
As a Christmas present for boys, I want to state that by being open, wacky, humorous and wonderful yourselves, you are able to melt hearts. Regardless of gender. Which actually brings me one more thing to wonder: how come men's approach to women is so fantastically and dreadfully different than women's approach to men? In general, it seems women are initially more interested in the mental side, whereas men are much more physical in terms of what is attractive. A curse and a blessing. Alas, how it fucks ups a lot of things :). Although, this might be a thing that is shifting into different direction, aka where men give more value to the mental side??
I want to extend an apology to persons, who, due to my weaknesses, feel I have abused them in some way. Yesterday I was in the shower, just standing there under the pouring water, thinking how I may have done some people wrong just because I thought it is the way to do things and that "certainly everyone agrees this is the way this or that thing is supposed to be done or be", but how in the fuck's name could I really know how the other person thinks?? I mean he/she could have totally different mindset related to this matter, he/she could never even begin to think the way I think, in the way which to me is totally self-evident. And apparently fucked up. To begin to think that I would even try to change that which is the most precious quality in each and everyone - the wonderful and authentic self and the way a person "is" - seems now like something I hope I never would have done, and definitely something I feel I need to improve upon. Sometimes changing the paradigm of life can be hard, but I feel my life would be much easier if I could be less demanding in some respects. It seems some things stick better than other things (unfortunately). In any other ways I feel my life is about as fun as it gets! And for this I again thank the amazing people but also my self!
I wish You a relaxing and a peaceful time around the new year's! I'ma spend it with my dear family, enjoying good company, relaxing and eating good food, among which I want to mention the organic chunk of pork I picked up today. Also the carrot and swedish turnip casseroles I'm going to do myself this year, of organic products, naturally :). What a hippie I have become! I'm lovin' it.
http://users.tkk.fi/~jjlehti2/ab/joulukortti.JPG
As a Christmas present for boys, I want to state that by being open, wacky, humorous and wonderful yourselves, you are able to melt hearts. Regardless of gender. Which actually brings me one more thing to wonder: how come men's approach to women is so fantastically and dreadfully different than women's approach to men? In general, it seems women are initially more interested in the mental side, whereas men are much more physical in terms of what is attractive. A curse and a blessing. Alas, how it fucks ups a lot of things :). Although, this might be a thing that is shifting into different direction, aka where men give more value to the mental side??
keskiviikko 1. joulukuuta 2010
Thank you for interaction
I must say I have been underrating the potential in interacting with other people. Traditionally I have felt I need to do things on my own, since "it is the only way things get done for sure and in an efficient manner". This may have lead me to appear as an introvert. However, I feel I am not. Lately I have been introduced to the power of interaction with like-minded people. Simply put, there is just so much to learn from oneself, when two truly honest people communicate with each other. It may not be easy, not at all! Usually it feels quite awkward, actually. But in the end all is well that ends well. People are like mentors, proteges to each other. One just needs to keep eyes wide open to take heed of the essential stuff we stumble upon when communicating with each other. That's how we learn of this life, and most essentially, of ourselves.
Global consciousness on the rise
I sincerely wish for a change in this world. And I am confident it is happening as I speak. More and more frequently I come across with people, in veeerrry surprising contexts and lives, who are themselves already quite conscious about the state of things. And how pleasant and rewarding it is to talk with these people! Self-development, spirituality, nutrition are among the good topics. But more still I enjoy, if the person is willing to talk about just about anything - especially the wacky, hilarious and tabooish subjects. Freely. Without condemning, without being embarrassed. We are human beings - we don't need to be ashamed of our thoughts. Speak freely. Feel the other person as you feel yourself - a simple human being with all kinds of funny thoughts in your head. It's just that someone sometime ago said to you that you should not speak of these things. Well damn!
I am confident that the global consciousness will soon exceed a certain threshold, which results in triggering a series of events leading this world to be a better place for human beings. Currently, for most of the people, this is not the case. I am lucky enough to be amongst those who can spread information about all that is important.
On a lighter note, French women are quite.. interesting, at least when considering everything.. external :) And French cuisine is delightfully fresh and tasty!
I am confident that the global consciousness will soon exceed a certain threshold, which results in triggering a series of events leading this world to be a better place for human beings. Currently, for most of the people, this is not the case. I am lucky enough to be amongst those who can spread information about all that is important.
On a lighter note, French women are quite.. interesting, at least when considering everything.. external :) And French cuisine is delightfully fresh and tasty!
tiistai 23. marraskuuta 2010
Ode to overwhelming life situations
Sometimes I feel like there's just too much stuff going on in some particular moments of my life. It's as if all those things pile up and converge on a specific day or days. Especially emotional stress can get overwhelming from time to time. I think everything would be relatively OK without the need to earn money, which requires the shutting down of emotions and mental stillness for 8 hours just to be able to earn a buck. And I need these things to process my shit together. This is where the music comes in. It gives relief; although I might not be able to shout out loud at work, I might just tune in to the mood of the music and do funny faces :). So, this is what I would shout and scream and sing to an entity called "overwhelming life situations" (the build-up around 3 minutes is just what I need):
You tell me I can't slow down
You tell me where I've gotta be
I speed into the darkness
But I swear that I can't see a thing in front of me
You know it's true
I'm not driving anymore
I can't keep up with you
You're closing in behind me
I've got headlights in my eyes
Don't you get too close to me
Can't you see that we'll collide and end up casualties
There's just no room
I'm not driving anymore
I can't keep up with you
So leave me on my own
Run me down and race away from me
I've got nowhere to go to
I don't think I can get back on my feet, back on my feet
You came right out of nowhere
Eyes wide and terrified
And I can't put my brakes on
I can't swerve to save your life cause then I'll lose control
And I can't choose
I'm not driving anymore
I can't keep up with you
So leave me on my own
Run me down and race away from me
I've got nowhere to go to
I don't think I can get back on my feet, back on my feet
Get me out of harm's way
Can't you see I'm paralyzed
I wanna fade out gracefully
But you keep keeping me alive to face another day
Can't you see I'm through
I'm not driving anymore, I can't keep up with you, can't keep away
Tell me how long have I got, I wanna to end this earthly toil -'Till this
diet life expires
I wanna go swimming in the soil and not come up for breath - Sit in God's
room
I'm not driving anymore - I can't keep up with you
I'm unfit for consumption
I don't know how to play my part
I swear I'm alone in this thing, I'm a blind man driving my car
Into oblivion, let it come soon, I'm not driving anymore
I can't keep up with you
You tell me I can't slow down
You tell me where I've gotta be
I speed into the darkness
But I swear that I can't see a thing in front of me
You know it's true
I'm not driving anymore
I can't keep up with you
You're closing in behind me
I've got headlights in my eyes
Don't you get too close to me
Can't you see that we'll collide and end up casualties
There's just no room
I'm not driving anymore
I can't keep up with you
So leave me on my own
Run me down and race away from me
I've got nowhere to go to
I don't think I can get back on my feet, back on my feet
You came right out of nowhere
Eyes wide and terrified
And I can't put my brakes on
I can't swerve to save your life cause then I'll lose control
And I can't choose
I'm not driving anymore
I can't keep up with you
So leave me on my own
Run me down and race away from me
I've got nowhere to go to
I don't think I can get back on my feet, back on my feet
Get me out of harm's way
Can't you see I'm paralyzed
I wanna fade out gracefully
But you keep keeping me alive to face another day
Can't you see I'm through
I'm not driving anymore, I can't keep up with you, can't keep away
Tell me how long have I got, I wanna to end this earthly toil -'Till this
diet life expires
I wanna go swimming in the soil and not come up for breath - Sit in God's
room
I'm not driving anymore - I can't keep up with you
I'm unfit for consumption
I don't know how to play my part
I swear I'm alone in this thing, I'm a blind man driving my car
Into oblivion, let it come soon, I'm not driving anymore
I can't keep up with you
sunnuntai 21. marraskuuta 2010
Aah, much better
I read of spiritual catharsis and bumped into how laughing and crying are the first steps in this process. Well, I felt like for a Sunday cry.
Starting with the Assembly 2007 demo "Lifeforce" by ASD (can be found from e.g. youtube), then listening to Evanescence's "Hello", and finally, the total crackdown for me, Evanescence's "My Immortal". Fuck, it felt good! On My Immortal on the second chorus I lost it. Couldn't stop crying until the end of the song. I'm writing this in the afterglow. I feel light, relieved and very good. I should definitely do this more often.
Ei minulla muuta.
Starting with the Assembly 2007 demo "Lifeforce" by ASD (can be found from e.g. youtube), then listening to Evanescence's "Hello", and finally, the total crackdown for me, Evanescence's "My Immortal". Fuck, it felt good! On My Immortal on the second chorus I lost it. Couldn't stop crying until the end of the song. I'm writing this in the afterglow. I feel light, relieved and very good. I should definitely do this more often.
Ei minulla muuta.
torstai 18. marraskuuta 2010
The three essentials
Simple things. Did striving towards more money ever lead to happiness for you? For me it has not. Sure, it has enhanced in many ways the situations where I have been involved. However, the money only enhanced the moment, which already was fun. If the situation had been shitty and you'd feel down, the bills in your wallet or the value of your stocks in your account didn't make any difference, now did it? What was the real cause for my happiness? In most cases, I'd say it was the people and how I felt connecting with them.
I hereby declare the three most important things you can do in your life: 1) take care of yourself in every way, 2) take care of your friends and loved ones, and appreciate all people to the extent you want, and 3) take care of your environment, it's our common heritage and we live in symbiosis with it (although last 300 years or so we have been more or less parasites or viruses in this regard). So what's new? Nothing. Heard it many times. But did you ever think what these declarations really mean? 1) to me means to take care of yourself physically and mentally, by developing on these fronts as much as possible. Be extremely curious and do all the things your heart desires! Eat good and healthy food. Learn about things. 2) is important, because it seems it is the most prominent way of making the world better for everyone: you get happier when you smile a lot, talk important stuff and nonsense, laugh, hug, kiss and feel. The other people too feel better and it spreads around. 3), because it is quite frankly the proper thing to do. What would we humans be without nature in all its might? It's a reciprocal relationship.
So there you go. Be on par in these aspects and you will start truly be happy, always!
I hereby declare the three most important things you can do in your life: 1) take care of yourself in every way, 2) take care of your friends and loved ones, and appreciate all people to the extent you want, and 3) take care of your environment, it's our common heritage and we live in symbiosis with it (although last 300 years or so we have been more or less parasites or viruses in this regard). So what's new? Nothing. Heard it many times. But did you ever think what these declarations really mean? 1) to me means to take care of yourself physically and mentally, by developing on these fronts as much as possible. Be extremely curious and do all the things your heart desires! Eat good and healthy food. Learn about things. 2) is important, because it seems it is the most prominent way of making the world better for everyone: you get happier when you smile a lot, talk important stuff and nonsense, laugh, hug, kiss and feel. The other people too feel better and it spreads around. 3), because it is quite frankly the proper thing to do. What would we humans be without nature in all its might? It's a reciprocal relationship.
So there you go. Be on par in these aspects and you will start truly be happy, always!
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