Why do people compare themselves to other people? In the end everybody has their own reality, so why would someone else's reality have any relevance to one's own way of seeing things? Somehow it seems quite a common thing to do, to compare myself to the other person. And of course, then feel bad about not having/doing something the other person has/does. What if I just would realize there is a) no sense in comparing myself to anyone as everyone has their own dreams, which are made to come true - no matter what, and; b) it will not benefit anyone: not you, not me. Just making things worse. The need to belong, to "be something"... 's a terrifying force. Release me.
Why are people so afraid of opening their hearts to the fellow(wo)men even if they just met? Why do people get scared of touching, of talking freely.. of having no limits in their wise actions. Do we always need the secure feeling that everything is like before, that nothing is going to change. That everything will be quite OK. Is it OK though if I talk to you freely and you will not withdraw or start having negative feelings towards me? Sometimes it feels - when talking about STUFF - the other person gets angry at the person speaking - me - instead of the actual topic. I do not equals the topic. Let's talk about stuff and disagree.. and then have the greates time of our life aftewards, shall we :)
perjantai 15. lokakuuta 2010
sunnuntai 10. lokakuuta 2010
Openness as a way of life
There are lot of things in our society, which are widely discussed and held as "the way it should be". Unfortunately, it is evident that in most cases the thing being talked about is not really in the fundamental thinking of us humans, even though, as I said, they are often talked about.
For instance, everyone seems to think openness is the way to go and everybody are open, of course. Are they really? I feel people think and feel a lot of things, which they truly do not believe. What it is to really be open and live according to the idea of openness? I've tried to implement this during the year. And boy it's fun! :)
For me, openness is to be 1) able to say how I feel about something while at the same time being 2) assertive. I may not always make other people happy. Being open and having integrity does sometimes mean downhearted situations, but I feel it is something not to be afraid of as long as I am assertive - i.e. respectful, supportive, empathic but firm. Sticking to the truth will always come out right. Then I'll know I was being honest - not with only the other person(s) or the external situation, but also and more importantly with myself.
In human-to-human context, I feel the way he/she is able to receive the openness I want to share is actually a measure of the other person.. In a way u know. Being open about stuff is actually a very frightening thing to do for some people. The way I see it, partly this is due to the insecurities or inability to interact as openly as the other person is doing. Consequently, this induces a stress reaction, which results in refusal of the whole concept of openness. In this way I feel I can tell how self-aware some person is. Don't get me wrong, I don't want to criticize anyone for not accepting openness as it may come out as a very dreadful thing. But as I said, it will give me hints of certain things. I respect you anyway, however you come out.
I feel being open has made my living a lot easier. It just makes all the..surplus thinking go away. There is no need to think whether I should have said something different or how is she now feeling or... I don't know, maybe this is quite normal behaviour for all you folks, like being honest always n stuff, but for me it has not been obvious at all. Maybe it's the way I was raised dunno. I feel now I don't need to say things I don't mean, do the things I don't want to do and finally I really can tell the people who are open as well and appreciate it. As an extreme example: when two people make love and are both being very open.. it is like the playfulness and the irrational side of the sex can emerge. No rational actions - just plain living in the moment, letting the moment evolve and come out as it comes out. Letting go of the fear of the other person and her reactions. Or of the way you might react.
Openness - hard thing to do in practice because of various social norms, because of how we have been raised. Give it a go and you might never be the same :)
P.S. Let me know if I'm being too open with this stuff ;)
For instance, everyone seems to think openness is the way to go and everybody are open, of course. Are they really? I feel people think and feel a lot of things, which they truly do not believe. What it is to really be open and live according to the idea of openness? I've tried to implement this during the year. And boy it's fun! :)
For me, openness is to be 1) able to say how I feel about something while at the same time being 2) assertive. I may not always make other people happy. Being open and having integrity does sometimes mean downhearted situations, but I feel it is something not to be afraid of as long as I am assertive - i.e. respectful, supportive, empathic but firm. Sticking to the truth will always come out right. Then I'll know I was being honest - not with only the other person(s) or the external situation, but also and more importantly with myself.
In human-to-human context, I feel the way he/she is able to receive the openness I want to share is actually a measure of the other person.. In a way u know. Being open about stuff is actually a very frightening thing to do for some people. The way I see it, partly this is due to the insecurities or inability to interact as openly as the other person is doing. Consequently, this induces a stress reaction, which results in refusal of the whole concept of openness. In this way I feel I can tell how self-aware some person is. Don't get me wrong, I don't want to criticize anyone for not accepting openness as it may come out as a very dreadful thing. But as I said, it will give me hints of certain things. I respect you anyway, however you come out.
I feel being open has made my living a lot easier. It just makes all the..surplus thinking go away. There is no need to think whether I should have said something different or how is she now feeling or... I don't know, maybe this is quite normal behaviour for all you folks, like being honest always n stuff, but for me it has not been obvious at all. Maybe it's the way I was raised dunno. I feel now I don't need to say things I don't mean, do the things I don't want to do and finally I really can tell the people who are open as well and appreciate it. As an extreme example: when two people make love and are both being very open.. it is like the playfulness and the irrational side of the sex can emerge. No rational actions - just plain living in the moment, letting the moment evolve and come out as it comes out. Letting go of the fear of the other person and her reactions. Or of the way you might react.
Openness - hard thing to do in practice because of various social norms, because of how we have been raised. Give it a go and you might never be the same :)
P.S. Let me know if I'm being too open with this stuff ;)
keskiviikko 6. lokakuuta 2010
What can be achieved by meditation
The ultimate experience for me, so far, has been during this summer. It was a 4-day retreat into the wilderness in the Porvoo archipelago.
Having spent a wonderful midnight summer's festival in an island, where my dear friend has a summer cottage, I went to the island next to it, erected a tent (shame on you for thinking something..something ;) ) and spent four days and four nights in solitude. Only nature with its sounds around me.
I had never done anything quite like this. Initially, when I came back from China, I thought I might attend this 10-day retreat which was somewhere around in the beginning of September in Kempele (organized by the vipassana organisation in Finland). In the beginning of June I knew that at that time I would be doing my master's thesis (and actually, bachelor's thesis as well), so I discarded the plan for going to the 10-day retreat. I thought: "why not organize my own retreat. That way at least there is no external human disturbing factors. And I would not have to spend the unbelievable 10 days in silence, I could define my own time to spend there."
So, having bought all kinds of can food, vegetables and näkkileipä (+water from the summer cottage's water well) and stupefied by the festivities of the midnight summer I then proceeded to the island for meditation. I got a lift there with a rowing boat :).
The days passed by.. sometimes slowly, sometimes not so slowly. The weather was merciful and the sun was shining nearly all the time, so I got lucky. I didn't keep track of time, I merely followed the movements of the Sun to define the approximate time of the day. Usually I climbed on top of this big rock boulder, did some stretching and sat down. The sun was gleaming through the branches of the trees, sometimes warming me, sometimes shadowing me.
The most bothering thing were the mosquitoes. For this, I had brought some Off-insecticide. It helped a lot and at some point I noticed the mosquitoes weren't that much interested in me anymore. Maybe I started to smell of forest, dunno. Only once did I wash myself in the shores of this island, on a sunny day when there were no boats passing by (there were lot of boats moving in that area all the time).
The meditation.. I noticed it was not easy to sit still for any more than 45 minutes. So I kept pauses - a lot. In total I think I meditated maybe 5 hours a day at least. The rest of the time it was eating, resting, walking amongst the woods and on one day basking in the sun.
OK so now the achievements part, the moment you've been waiting for. The peak moment of this endeavour occurred on Wednesday evening (third full day). I felt like nothing before.. This feeling had been building up during the whole day and now it reached its climax. I felt completely calm. I felt serenity and that I am completely aware of myself.. somekind of totally peaceful confidence in myself, my life. I felt like I am drawing energy off the trees, off the forest, the whole world. It was like I felt the whole mental energy sphere of all people in the world, to which I was connected. I just sat there with my eyes now open, smiling, breating deeply, calmly and without any anxiety in my stomach. Everything was light. It was kinda ecstatic.
This was what has been my ultimate experience regarding meditation. It took three days in forest alone (with the Sun as a big bonus). From the time required to reach this climax we can infer that the amount of time required for reaching a totally serene state by using this.. semi-constant meditation is not so short a time. Obviously this is not possible in a city-environment. I feel it is only in nature, where a human can ease her soul completely. Consequently, I'm not able to achieve this back at home. But nevertheless I always feel calmer, lighter and more relaxed than prior to any meditation session, regardless of the place or the time spent into it. I really recommend it for your mental health, for your self-development.
I did not speak anything the whole time (4 days) in the island so it was very weird feeling to hear my own voice for the first time.. I was like "whose is that voice that I hear" when I was saying some words to the person picking me up from the island.
As I returned to Kallio, HKI, I felt how the air quality was so completely different than what it had been for the previous week. I felt how a city is somehow not the place for humans to be, if relaxation is needed (cities are nice though). People running around like ants, busy and doing stuff. Yeah, it just felt somehow very apparent after spending such a long period of time in silence. But soon I got adjusted to the city-life. Humans are quite adaptive creatures...
Having spent a wonderful midnight summer's festival in an island, where my dear friend has a summer cottage, I went to the island next to it, erected a tent (shame on you for thinking something..something ;) ) and spent four days and four nights in solitude. Only nature with its sounds around me.
I had never done anything quite like this. Initially, when I came back from China, I thought I might attend this 10-day retreat which was somewhere around in the beginning of September in Kempele (organized by the vipassana organisation in Finland). In the beginning of June I knew that at that time I would be doing my master's thesis (and actually, bachelor's thesis as well), so I discarded the plan for going to the 10-day retreat. I thought: "why not organize my own retreat. That way at least there is no external human disturbing factors. And I would not have to spend the unbelievable 10 days in silence, I could define my own time to spend there."
So, having bought all kinds of can food, vegetables and näkkileipä (+water from the summer cottage's water well) and stupefied by the festivities of the midnight summer I then proceeded to the island for meditation. I got a lift there with a rowing boat :).
The days passed by.. sometimes slowly, sometimes not so slowly. The weather was merciful and the sun was shining nearly all the time, so I got lucky. I didn't keep track of time, I merely followed the movements of the Sun to define the approximate time of the day. Usually I climbed on top of this big rock boulder, did some stretching and sat down. The sun was gleaming through the branches of the trees, sometimes warming me, sometimes shadowing me.
The most bothering thing were the mosquitoes. For this, I had brought some Off-insecticide. It helped a lot and at some point I noticed the mosquitoes weren't that much interested in me anymore. Maybe I started to smell of forest, dunno. Only once did I wash myself in the shores of this island, on a sunny day when there were no boats passing by (there were lot of boats moving in that area all the time).
The meditation.. I noticed it was not easy to sit still for any more than 45 minutes. So I kept pauses - a lot. In total I think I meditated maybe 5 hours a day at least. The rest of the time it was eating, resting, walking amongst the woods and on one day basking in the sun.
OK so now the achievements part, the moment you've been waiting for. The peak moment of this endeavour occurred on Wednesday evening (third full day). I felt like nothing before.. This feeling had been building up during the whole day and now it reached its climax. I felt completely calm. I felt serenity and that I am completely aware of myself.. somekind of totally peaceful confidence in myself, my life. I felt like I am drawing energy off the trees, off the forest, the whole world. It was like I felt the whole mental energy sphere of all people in the world, to which I was connected. I just sat there with my eyes now open, smiling, breating deeply, calmly and without any anxiety in my stomach. Everything was light. It was kinda ecstatic.
This was what has been my ultimate experience regarding meditation. It took three days in forest alone (with the Sun as a big bonus). From the time required to reach this climax we can infer that the amount of time required for reaching a totally serene state by using this.. semi-constant meditation is not so short a time. Obviously this is not possible in a city-environment. I feel it is only in nature, where a human can ease her soul completely. Consequently, I'm not able to achieve this back at home. But nevertheless I always feel calmer, lighter and more relaxed than prior to any meditation session, regardless of the place or the time spent into it. I really recommend it for your mental health, for your self-development.
I did not speak anything the whole time (4 days) in the island so it was very weird feeling to hear my own voice for the first time.. I was like "whose is that voice that I hear" when I was saying some words to the person picking me up from the island.
As I returned to Kallio, HKI, I felt how the air quality was so completely different than what it had been for the previous week. I felt how a city is somehow not the place for humans to be, if relaxation is needed (cities are nice though). People running around like ants, busy and doing stuff. Yeah, it just felt somehow very apparent after spending such a long period of time in silence. But soon I got adjusted to the city-life. Humans are quite adaptive creatures...
tiistai 5. lokakuuta 2010
Being alone vs. being not-alone AND long-term plans vs. living NOW
I was talking the other day with my flat mate about the basic human needs. We stumbled upon the subject of "being alone vs. sharing experiences with the special someone".
Why is it that sometimes I feel I want to share my life, my ups and downs, my journey in this wonderful thing called existence with someone? Why is it that on other times I feel like I am living my life to the fullest just NOW, without any need to share experiences in order to be truly happy?
Having returned from Beijing last spring I had already changed quite a bit when it comes to the approach towards life itself. I started eating healthily, started to develop myself both physically and mentally. Mentally in terms of conversations, meditation and by trying to be downright as open, as honest as I could ever be. I sincerely and without arrogance am very pleased with myself at the moment. I feel I treat people with respect and at the same time preserving myself, my integrity. I feel confident.
Yet there becomes times when I doubt.. I doubt whether I would ever find "a path" in my life. You see, I never seem to be able to "just keep on doing something for the rest of my life". I feel I would just stand still and repeat something endlessly. Without development. I never seem to "fit in" whatever it is that I'm engaged in, say in my self-defense exercise community. Don't get me wrong, I really enjoy every second of this hobby of mine. It's just that I don't go into this community. I don't live my life for it. I am no elämäntapaintiaani in any respect. I feel it would bound me. Instead, I am always interested in new stuff, constantly. The flipside of the coin is always feeling a bit of a loner. THERE IS SO MUCH IN LIFE I WANT TO DO!! What could I do to embrace the whole world, to FEEL and love all the people without locking myself to one chain and ball?
The same goes for sharing my life with that special someone. Sometimes it feels it would bind me, prevent me from doing something I would have wanted to do. Sometimes it feels that if I found a person who would share my views on lot of things, that our minds would think in unison, I would not need to even think of this ball and chain thingy.
On to other stuff.
I have no long-term plans. No pre-defined, pre-decided thing that is supposed to happen. I'd rather not have them. I feel they would bind me to living according to some set of rules. Take mortgage for instance. And sell your soul to the banks. Own lot of stuff and sell your soul to your boss. Having said the previous sentence my mind flies into thinking this:
Why is it that people always say: "It is pain now yeah, but AFTER I have done this, I...". In my opinion there is something fundamentally wrong in that sentence. I'd much rather it be said like "It is pain now so I will get rid of it and enjoy life NOW". In practice, it is not so simple. It definitely isn't easy to take the pain away, because the external world (and perhaps you yourself) has expectations towards you. They (or you) say: "finish this and you'll get more money" or "do this and you'll get that". As a vague solution I would say then: the approach to this dilemma should always be done with your NOW as the first thing in your mind. Even if you are unable to make the change, you know and acknowledge the existence of this thought. And conciously or subconsciously you will strive towards getting out of the pain-making situation. At some point you will notice things are better. "Hey, I feel good actually". What is wrong today is that people seem to believe that "after doing something it will get better". Reality check: it will never happen. Once you reach the goal, you will wonder: "so what is actually better now than before". Then, suddenly you notice you are wrinkled and in your late 50s, wondering where the life, you were meant to lead, disappeared.
Why is it that sometimes I feel I want to share my life, my ups and downs, my journey in this wonderful thing called existence with someone? Why is it that on other times I feel like I am living my life to the fullest just NOW, without any need to share experiences in order to be truly happy?
Having returned from Beijing last spring I had already changed quite a bit when it comes to the approach towards life itself. I started eating healthily, started to develop myself both physically and mentally. Mentally in terms of conversations, meditation and by trying to be downright as open, as honest as I could ever be. I sincerely and without arrogance am very pleased with myself at the moment. I feel I treat people with respect and at the same time preserving myself, my integrity. I feel confident.
Yet there becomes times when I doubt.. I doubt whether I would ever find "a path" in my life. You see, I never seem to be able to "just keep on doing something for the rest of my life". I feel I would just stand still and repeat something endlessly. Without development. I never seem to "fit in" whatever it is that I'm engaged in, say in my self-defense exercise community. Don't get me wrong, I really enjoy every second of this hobby of mine. It's just that I don't go into this community. I don't live my life for it. I am no elämäntapaintiaani in any respect. I feel it would bound me. Instead, I am always interested in new stuff, constantly. The flipside of the coin is always feeling a bit of a loner. THERE IS SO MUCH IN LIFE I WANT TO DO!! What could I do to embrace the whole world, to FEEL and love all the people without locking myself to one chain and ball?
The same goes for sharing my life with that special someone. Sometimes it feels it would bind me, prevent me from doing something I would have wanted to do. Sometimes it feels that if I found a person who would share my views on lot of things, that our minds would think in unison, I would not need to even think of this ball and chain thingy.
On to other stuff.
I have no long-term plans. No pre-defined, pre-decided thing that is supposed to happen. I'd rather not have them. I feel they would bind me to living according to some set of rules. Take mortgage for instance. And sell your soul to the banks. Own lot of stuff and sell your soul to your boss. Having said the previous sentence my mind flies into thinking this:
Why is it that people always say: "It is pain now yeah, but AFTER I have done this, I...". In my opinion there is something fundamentally wrong in that sentence. I'd much rather it be said like "It is pain now so I will get rid of it and enjoy life NOW". In practice, it is not so simple. It definitely isn't easy to take the pain away, because the external world (and perhaps you yourself) has expectations towards you. They (or you) say: "finish this and you'll get more money" or "do this and you'll get that". As a vague solution I would say then: the approach to this dilemma should always be done with your NOW as the first thing in your mind. Even if you are unable to make the change, you know and acknowledge the existence of this thought. And conciously or subconsciously you will strive towards getting out of the pain-making situation. At some point you will notice things are better. "Hey, I feel good actually". What is wrong today is that people seem to believe that "after doing something it will get better". Reality check: it will never happen. Once you reach the goal, you will wonder: "so what is actually better now than before". Then, suddenly you notice you are wrinkled and in your late 50s, wondering where the life, you were meant to lead, disappeared.
An attempt to describe the meaning of music for me
To You, dear reader, I could never express in spoken language what music means to me.
To hear the sweet melodies that make you calm in the eye of the storm. To hear the coarse sounds that dissipate built-up negative thoughts. To enable one to concentrate and reach a meditative state with ambient sounds flowing from the loudspeakers. To align oneself for weekend with something groovy. To caress another person with warmth that is emphasized by soothing and beautiful chords of the songs I know will have deep impact on whoever. To see people dancing their hearts out with the sounds you recreate in the DJ-booth. To feel the energy of the beat, which spreads out into the minds of all the party people in da house. To touch a woman's palm gently with one finger with smooth strokes, to feel the other person, the feeling that is amplified by the music, connecting the two of you into the oneness of the universe. To embrace her with all your might, becoming one for even just for one second, until again becoming the oneselves who reflect the consciousness of mankind with the own prism that is within.
And it is so much more...
--
The sun will set on you
Caress the darkness
Let it be a womb to you
Loving and spacious
You're a star
Love is all we are
The rest amounts to nothing
Our flesh the temples of
The one thing that is everlasting
You're a star
Vibrasphere - Tierra Azul (Omnimotion feat Krister Linder Rmx)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wILYOuRCllI
To hear the sweet melodies that make you calm in the eye of the storm. To hear the coarse sounds that dissipate built-up negative thoughts. To enable one to concentrate and reach a meditative state with ambient sounds flowing from the loudspeakers. To align oneself for weekend with something groovy. To caress another person with warmth that is emphasized by soothing and beautiful chords of the songs I know will have deep impact on whoever. To see people dancing their hearts out with the sounds you recreate in the DJ-booth. To feel the energy of the beat, which spreads out into the minds of all the party people in da house. To touch a woman's palm gently with one finger with smooth strokes, to feel the other person, the feeling that is amplified by the music, connecting the two of you into the oneness of the universe. To embrace her with all your might, becoming one for even just for one second, until again becoming the oneselves who reflect the consciousness of mankind with the own prism that is within.
And it is so much more...
--
The sun will set on you
Caress the darkness
Let it be a womb to you
Loving and spacious
You're a star
Love is all we are
The rest amounts to nothing
Our flesh the temples of
The one thing that is everlasting
You're a star
Vibrasphere - Tierra Azul (Omnimotion feat Krister Linder Rmx)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wILYOuRCllI
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