Openness as a way of life

There are lot of things in our society, which are widely discussed and held as "the way it should be". Unfortunately, it is evident that in most cases the thing being talked about is not really in the fundamental thinking of us humans, even though, as I said, they are often talked about.

For instance, everyone seems to think openness is the way to go and everybody are open, of course. Are they really? I feel people think and feel a lot of things, which they truly do not believe. What it is to really be open and live according to the idea of openness? I've tried to implement this during the year. And boy it's fun! :)

For me, openness is to be 1) able to say how I feel about something while at the same time being 2) assertive. I may not always make other people happy. Being open and having integrity does sometimes mean downhearted situations, but I feel it is something not to be afraid of as long as I am assertive - i.e. respectful, supportive, empathic but firm. Sticking to the truth will always come out right. Then I'll know I was being honest - not with only the other person(s) or the external situation, but also and more importantly with myself.

In human-to-human context, I feel the way he/she is able to receive the openness I want to share is actually a measure of the other person.. In a way u know. Being open about stuff is actually a very frightening thing to do for some people. The way I see it, partly this is due to the insecurities or inability to interact as openly as the other person is doing. Consequently, this induces a stress reaction, which results in refusal of the whole concept of openness. In this way I feel I can tell how self-aware some person is. Don't get me wrong, I don't want to criticize anyone for not accepting openness as it may come out as a very dreadful thing. But as I said, it will give me hints of certain things. I respect you anyway, however you come out.

I feel being open has made my living a lot easier. It just makes all the..surplus thinking go away. There is no need to think whether I should have said something different or how is she now feeling or... I don't know, maybe this is quite normal behaviour for all you folks, like being honest always n stuff, but for me it has not been obvious at all. Maybe it's the way I was raised dunno. I feel now I don't need to say things I don't mean, do the things I don't want to do and finally I really can tell the people who are open as well and appreciate it. As an extreme example: when two people make love and are both being very open.. it is like the playfulness and the irrational side of the sex can emerge. No rational actions - just plain living in the moment, letting the moment evolve and come out as it comes out. Letting go of the fear of the other person and her reactions. Or of the way you might react.

Openness - hard thing to do in practice because of various social norms, because of how we have been raised. Give it a go and you might never be the same :)

P.S. Let me know if I'm being too open with this stuff ;)