Shiiiiiiii
It just occurred to me today. Made me feel both anxious and relieved. Mostly anxious.
Think about it. If you eliminate all the externalities in your life, what is it really that remains? By externalities I mean everything that are outside of your body, soul and mind - be it your family, girl/boyfriend, career, money, belongings, hobbies, people, etc.
One might now ask, why would the externalities need to be eliminated anyways? My answer: because "the only constant is change", meaning in this case that all the things that have no origin from within you can be as easily wiped out from your life as they were introduced in to it in the first place. In my opinion, this results in searching for the motivation to keep on living from within, because one can't trust anything external would be permanent and give the "power" to keep on living a meaningful life in your mind. The problem of this search is that if one has been living 27 years always having some goal, some external thing to concentrate on and not needing to think of what is the real motivation for living, it can be really hard to suddenly come up with something meaningful that is perfectly harmonious with your inner self. The motivation that comes from within.
In a way I understand people settling for the "ordinary stuff" such as family, job, etc. because it is the way which is obvious and common. "Why not do it because everyone else is doing it". Then some of these end up unfortunately to the situation, where all this external vanishes. Then it is either a deep depression or deep exploration of oneself. The point is that sooner or later (not for everyone though) this has to be faced by each and everyone, if one's happiness is based on something external.
I was doing some Krav Maga today. I didn't have to think anything, just do the thing I reaally like. In a way I think by doing things one likes, people try to reach the same (mild) meditative state than what is attainable with actual meditation. The state, where you just are. No past, no future - just the present. This is the point in being mindful and present. But the controversy here is that one needs this external thing (e.g. hobby) to reach the meditative state. Either that or one should just meditate all year along. And die of starvation, since no money means no food on the table. So it seems we are forced to seek our happiness from external stuff instead of internal stuff. Is the purpose of life then to do the things you like? :) Sounds quite reasonable. OK. So maybe life is good when you get to do the stuff you like - every now and then it may fuck up your mind because it does not any more give you happiness, but I guess it is the price we have to pay to be happy even for a while?
At the moment it seems all I am doing is drift from day to another without bigger plans. Don't get me wrong, I enjoy my life now more than ever! But thinking this kind of stuff can really fuck up my mind. This thing occurred to me as I was thinking the future: I'm going to graduate. Maybe this is some quarter-life crisis :). But now it seems as if it is either I work my ass off for the rest of my life or then I take another attitude to it. Kinda a situation where I need to fill the void that is created when the studies are completed. I don't see the worklife as the filler of this void. I want to find something from within to fill the void. I just need some guidance on this one.
On the other hand, no purpose in life gives me a notion of being able to do whatever I want. Even though this should be evident without this notion, it isn't. It's the 27 years of conditioning. Maybe I should just concentrate living day by day, not thinking of the future or past that much, quite as Eckhart Tolle recommends in his book The Power of Now. If the answer to the motivation of life is to just be present, I really need a complete shift in the way I think of world. I mean, financial security is one big and dull issue, which prevents me (I guess) from living totally present. I try to, though.
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We are not purely spiritual beings, and improving our lives is not just a matter of mind. Things come at a price, and a big part of life is about paying the right price for the right thing.
VastaaPoistaBut I get your point. The problem with externalities, however, is not that they are temporary, but that they are insufficient. Nothing can give you happiness if you don't enjoy them in the first place.
Externalities are just the means, the mind is the end. Thus happiness is not about getting as much as you can, but about knowing what you want, what price you are willing to pay, and making the right choice.
I may not understand the full context of "living the present". But the perception of the future is an inherent part of "the present". Planed or not, one's present actions will bear fruit in the future, which will eventually become "the present". Since you will have to deal with the future anyways, it would be better to make informed, conscious choices.
More importantly, future is where hope resides, it's where our current decisions and efforts bear fruit. Especially if you are not satisfied with the way thing are, you would have to do what you can to make sure things will eventually get better.
This is basically why truth and justice matters, the wrongs in the world won't change over night, but time will eventually make the final judgement. I would rather be the enemy of the whole world than be the enemy of time.
Hi, thanks for the response.
VastaaPoistaThe way I see it, "being present" does not exclude one's ability to make well-informed choices regarding the future. Being present simply means being able to accept the "what is" or react in some other meaningful way, instead of lingering in the state of fear. Other meaningful ways might be e.g. to change the situation how one sees fit, or then completely withdrawing from it.
Being present for me also means a sense of tranquility in my complete outlook of life. I see so much more beauty and vibrancy and joy in lot more things than before. I do it without any presumptions.
Alard, when you have time, I want you to read the passages below from the book "The Power of Now" by Eckhart Tolle. I chose these bits to reflect the issues at hand. I'll use multiple comments since the length of one comment has an upper limit.
-Junnu
---
I don't see how I can be free now. As it happens, I am extremely unhappy with my life at the moment. his is a fact, and I would be deluding myself if I ried to convince myself that all is well when it efinitely isn't. To me, the present moment is very unhappy; it is not liberating at all. What keeps me going is the hope or possibility of some improvement in the future.
You think that your attention is in the present moment when it's actually taken up completely by time. You cannot be both unhappy and fully present in the Now. What you refer to as your "life" should more accurately be called your "life situation." It is psychological time: past and future. Certain things in the past didn't go the way you wanted them to go. You are still resisting what happened in the past, and now you are resisting what is. Hope is what keeps you going, but hope keeps you focused on the future, and this continued focus perpetuates your denial of the Now and therefore your unhappiness.
It is true that my present life situation is the result of things that happened in the past, but it is still my present situation, and being stuck in it is what makes me unhappy.
VastaaPoistaForget about your life situation for a while and pay attention to your life. What is the difference?
Your life situation exists in time. Your life is now.
Your life situation is mind-stuff. Your life is real.
In that state of wholeness, would we still be able or willing to pursue external goals?
Of course, but you will not have illusory expectations that anything or anybody in the future will save you or make you happy. As far as your life situation [different thing than "life"] is concerned, there may be things to be attained or acquired. That's the world of form, of gain and loss. Yet on a deeper level you are already complete, and when you realize that, there is a playful, joyous energy behing what you do. Being free of psychological time, you no longer pursue your goals with grim determination, driven by fear, anger, discontent, or the need to become someone. Nor will you remain inactive through fear of failutre, which to the ego is loss of self. -- You know that "nothing real can be
threatened."
But the belief that the future will be better than the present is not always an illusion. The present can be dreadful, and things can get better in the future, and often they do.
VastaaPoistaUsually, the future is a replica of the past. Superficial changes are possible, but real
transformation is rare and depends upon whether you can become present enough to
dissolve the past by accessing the power of the Now. What you perceive as future is an intrinsic part of your state of consciousness now. If your mind carries a heavy burden of past, you will experience more of the same. The past perpetuates itself through lack of presence. The quality of your consciousness at this moment is what
shapes the future - which, of course, can only be experienced as the Now. -- If it is the quality of your consciousness at this moment that determines the future, then what is it that determines the quality of your consciousness? Your degree of presence. So the only place where true change can occur and where the past can be dissolved is the Now.
If all your problems or perceived causes of suffering or unhappiness were miraculously removed for you today, but you had not become more present, more conscious, you would soon find yourself with a similar set of problems or causes of suffering, like a shadow that follows you wherever you go. Ultimately, there is only one problem: the time bound mind itself.
I can see the truth of what you are saying, but I still think that we must have purpose on our life's journey, otherwise we just drift, and purpose means future, doesn't it? How do we reconcile that with living in the present?
When you are on a journey, it is certainly helpful to know where you are going or at least the general direction in which you are moving, but don't forget: the only thing that is ultimately real about your journey is the step that you are taking at this moment. That's all there ever is.
Your life's journey has an outer purpose and an inner purpose. The outer purpose is to arrive at your goal or destination, to accomplish what you set out to do, to achieve this or that, which, of course, implies future. But if your destination, or the steps you are going to take in the future, take up so much of your attention that they become more important to you than the step you are taking now, then you completely miss the journey's inner purpose, which has nothing to do with where you are going or what you are doing, but everything to do with how. It has nothing to do with future but everything to do with the quality of your consciousness at this moment.
Yes! At least I think what you say in end is the answer to your question. Living at present and accepting as it is is the key to happiness. I think the hardest point to letting you going this state is ego (not financial security). It is possible to have this kind of meditative state of mind in every moment of everyday life, but as you stated already it is easier to achieve with some external events e.g. sports & meditation.
VastaaPoistaTolle writes on very nice perspective which can be intuitively understood. Maybe I should read that also again...